在大学的校园里，我与他手挽手，笑容灿烂。那时同学们都羡慕不已，称我们是天生一对。他脸上泛起了淡淡的红晕，低下头来。四年后，当我带着他回到县城老家见父母时，无意中透露他的情况，让父母面色一沉。父亲冷哼地反问：“你只是个做点心的小伙子，我女儿是大学生，你能给她幸福吗？”最后我哭着送他回旅馆。

回到家后，我意识到不愿放弃这段爱情，便绝食抗议。父母锁上了房门，我从窗户溜到隔壁阿姨家，再偷偷逃出去找他。在那饼屋认识，他是我师傅，有名的点心匠人，每次看见我都会脸红。

有一天店里人少，他现场制作蛋挞，上面摆了一颗葡萄干，说这是“公主蛋挞”，特别推荐给我。我那四年的专属甜品，不断甘美。但或许甜美背后的酸涩更为深刻，如今痛苦也令人震惊。一向孝顺的我真难以忍受看着父母因泪水而憔悴，一方面仍坚持握住他的手：“没关系，我们还是要一起！”

但当我第六次偷跑出门去旅馆，那位服务员却交给我一个小纸鹤，说那个男生已经退房离开。我心慌意乱，不知所措，那段日子里失眠成了常态。当我终于拿到了去省城寻找他的路费，却发现他早已辞职离去了。我不知流了多少泪，只剩一种深深的失望。

不论如何痛苦，时间总是在流逝。后来，我逐渐淡忘了对他的怯懦和痛恨，与公司里的部门经理谈恋爱，又结婚生子周末与家人去郊游赏花。初恋，只留下了一道淡淡痕迹，而那只千纸鹤还夹在我的日记本里。

分开六年，这天翻旧物 suddenly saw the paper crane, a bit of confusion, didn't blindly tear it open. Inside were words written in haste: “I once hoped to let you be my happiness forever but brought you only pain. Every time you sneak out from home, you become thinner and paler. I'm heartbroken. The past three months I secretly sought your parents many times without success. I couldn't bear to see you struggle so much, so I withdrew first, hoping that would give space for new happiness.”

The handwriting was messy with tears. I vaguely recalled my parents' disdainful words when they said he never fought for anything and ran away at the critical moment—what kind of man is he? But now talking about these things seemed useless yet still could not help asking my mother over the phone: Did he really find our parents many times? Who was lying?

My mother remained silent for a long while before sighing and saying: He indeed found your parents many times.

He had repeatedly sought them out until his last attempt when she remembered clearly how he appeared with dark circles under his eyes and disheveled clothes as if lost his way, saying: "I'll stop contacting her completely; please tell me about her condition later." His calls came every week for the first year but gradually became less frequent as he learned about my marriage and childbearing life until finally calling only once every six months.

In his final call three months ago, he said he too wanted to settle down but admitted that forgetting him took much longer than me though there was some empty space in his heart.

As I listened on the other end of the line, tears streaming down my face—I realized that forgetting also meant a wish to move forward; turning back also signified deep love.